I want to stick my p in your. b.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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