meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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