Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
