Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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