I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
