i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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