i need an iv and a liver transplant
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
