There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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