Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
His nipple licking is glorious
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