can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
