I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
