a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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