my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
