Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
