I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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