Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
