Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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