what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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