her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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