i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
