I hate all girls vehemently.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
