Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
