Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
