Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
