there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
