hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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