Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
