Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
