the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
