I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
