in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
