# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Alive.
So much puke
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
