Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
