I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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