if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
