Having a random hookup so left but love u
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
