That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
