just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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