apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
