i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
