So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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