Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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