So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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