Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
