Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
