What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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