Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
