6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
