i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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