We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
