is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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